The Big Question

Recently a beloved, older member of our church family died, and I was blessed to be there for his memorial service. I say “blessed” because it was one of those services during which we celebrated a life of faith, lived out in relationship between him, us–his friends–and God. There were hugs, tears, and songs, but the bulk of the evening was spent passing microphones around the sanctuary and sharing memories of Hobart Johnson.

Hobart was a man of books and learning, of deep and abiding faith. He always had a twinkle in his eye, and Ricky–his daughter who had suffered a stroke in her early adult years–on his arm. He believed in the church and in the King James version of the Bible, and was deeply concerned about the direction in which we were heading as a denomination.

As I listened to my friends share scripture from Hobart’s Bible (always KJV), and memories from their hearts, I was touched by just how many lives he affected with his solid faith. But the pivotal moment of the evening for me came when my friend Stan took the microphone and shared a story about Hobart that has kept me pondering for the past two weeks.

Stan, a good friend and church staff member, told us about a conversation he had with Hobart. Shortly after he had been hired to head up our Youth Ministry, Stan was approached by this veritable icon of Pleasant View UMC, who posed the following question:

“What has God done for you through brokenness?”

Now I don’t know about you, but that simple question hit me square between the eyes. It wasn't a question about theology, or political issues–both area Hobart was very interested in–but rather a deeply personal query about what God had done in Stan’s life. And I began to consider how it related to my life.

There is a song about brokenness that we occasionally sing in our contemporary worship services… It’s by Sonic Flood, and it’s titled, “Holiness.” The lyrics go like this:

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for.
Brokenness is what I need.
Brokenness, brokenness is what
You want from me.

Brokenness…That’s a hard thing to admit you need, much less long for. It’s never easy, or comfortable. But it is what God wants from us, because it’s the most effective way He grows us. And it’s not what breaks us that we long for, but what He does with it, and how it draws us to Him.

In my life, especially these mid-life years, God has used circumstances to humble me, and show me beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is who He says He is, and He will do what He says He will do. (Praise to Him and thanks to Beth Moore for the wording!) When I’m unbroken, I’m much more likely to pat myself on the back for the way things are going. But when I’m broken, I have no choice but to turn to Him, and trust Him to lead me in His ways. When I’m in a place of brokenness I can say, to quote another song, this one from a Living Proof Live CD–The Lamb has Overcome, featuring Travis Cottrell (from Boone, NC):

I will not be moved.
And I’ll say of the Lord:
You are my Shield,
My Strength, my Portion,
Deliver, my Shelter, Strong Tower,
My very present help in time of need.

That’s what He’s done for me through brokenness.

In another encounter just today my path crossed with a friend’s whose son grew up with my son. I knew Josh had a horrific snow tubing accident two weeks ago that left him with a shattered vertebra, but to hear the narrative from his father was spellbinding and again, a blessing.

As Josh’s father shared the events of the past two weeks with me, I could see in his eyes how hard it was to even say the words that made his son’s story real. In fact, he admitted that he couldn’t have made it through the story just a few days ago. After all, it was the stuff a parent’s worst nightmares are made of.

But ultimately God brought Josh through surgery and a mere two weeks later he is a walking miracle. During his ordeal in the hospital, he related a deep sense of peace and reassurance that everything was going to be okay, and, thanks to his church family, his father shared a new awareness of the power of prayer.

Brokenness…it’s what we need.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”
~ Psalm 51:17 (KJV…for Hobart)