Sunday, May 11, 2008

Parental Prom Wisdom



I've been through five proms in six years, and here’s what I’ve learned as the parent of both a boy and a girl:

1. It’s much easier to send a son to the prom than a daughter. Pretty much all Ben ever needed was money and some very basic guidelines… “Get a tux (preferably a classy one), make reservations for dinner somewhere without a drive-through, buy your date a flower (extra points if it complements her dress), drive very carefully, and treat her like a princess.”

Hannah, on the other hand, just needed money, and a lot of it. Her list included: THE dress, shoes, handbag, jewelry, hair, hair accessories, makeup, manicure, pedicure, waxing, tanning, and undoubtedly some other essentials I’ve forgotten. I also tried to share some parental wisdom with her, of course, but it just got lost in the pre-prom madness. In retrospect, I should have picked my time more carefully, like the previous October.

2. When it comes to prom attire, resistance is futile. I thought Ben’s first tux made him look like a gangster, but it was the one he was determined to wear, and wear it he did. The dress Hannah wore this year was the very first one she picked out online, but I wasn’t so sure. So we ordered three others, none of which worked, and ended up scrambling to get the first dress here and altered the day before the big night. I could have saved myself a lot of hassle and shipping charges if I’d just gotten with Hannah’s program in the beginning.

3. The “official” pictures taken at the prom are a waste of money, but you can’t take too many pre-prom photos. There were 24 kids (that's right, 24) in Hannah’s prom group this time, and I juggled two cameras for over an hour to make sure we had pictures of every possible combination, including dates, friends, guys only, girls only, short dresses, long dresses, pale dresses, and sharp tuxedos, just to name a few. And there was a plethora of backgrounds to choose from as well. So naturally we posed in front of all of them, including the fountain, the gazebo, trees, flowering shrubs, the inn, and Main Street. When it was all, over my index finger was cramping and I felt qualified to add the title,“Paparazzi” to my resume.

4. If your child attends both their Junior and Senior proms, the first one will be “perfect,” but the second one will be more fun.

5. You will worry about them until they come home or call you and say they’re safely wherever it is they’re spending the night. Of course, that holds true anytime teenagers are out and about, but it’s never truer than on prom night (and maybe graduation).

6. Finally, as you watch your children and their friends get dressed up like the Rockefellers and drive off into the sunset, recognize that you’ve just had a magical glimpse into the not so distant future. Add it to your collection of precious memories, no matter how many pictures you took, and treasure it as the gift from God that it is.


Make our sons in their prime like sturdy oak trees, our daughters as shapely and bright as fields of wildflowers. ~ Psalm 144:12 (The Message)

Saturday, May 3, 2008

On the Brink

“This is the last stop on the “College Tour.” Last school…last child. It should be easier by now, but it doesn’t feel that way. And I know it won’t feel any easier in August, when she loads up her car with all that is precious to her so far in life…the tangible things, anyway.

“But there’s also a sense of satisfaction and pride that I have when I listen to the university administrators and professors. I know she’s up to the challenge, and I’m brought to tears when I consider how many possibilities, how many adventures, are ahead of her. Oh, to be 17 again and standing on the brink of my future!”


I wrote that a couple of weeks ago, when my daughter Hannah attended an Open House at Radford University. We were in a mock English classroom and it was a writing exercise, but for me it was a reality check.

We are in the homestretch of her senior year. Life is a flurry of decisions about college, prom, graduation…and I’m the facilitator. Please don’t misunderstand and think I’m central, or even necessary to the process. It will happen with or without my participation. For once it really is all about her right now. But my reality is that the last chick is getting ready to fly the coop, and for a parent this is one of those life events which, like a flash flood, leaves a wake of reflections and emotions after its passing.

It’s ironic to me that, while I’m trying to deal with all of this one day at a time, her life is taking a quantum leap into the future. What’s a mom to do? Well, like her brother, I know she was raised in the truth and that God has a marvelous plan for her life. So I’ll just trust and pray as I wait to see His plan unfold.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. ~ 3 John 1:4 (NIV)