High Anxiety

Things get pretty crazy at work this time of year. I’m a writer in a marketing department at a catalog company, and our annual resource book of spa products is unveiled as the trade show season begins at the end of February. So the almost 500-page catalog has to be finalized and printed by then.

I can’t even begin to explain the process for publishing a catalog of that size, but trust me – it can be brutal from November through January. I jokingly say everyone is allowed one breakdown at some point during that time frame, but no two are permitted at the same time!

And that’s just work. If you factor in the rest of life, insanity can ensue. I think I’m a fairly laid-back person most of the time. But everyone has to find a way to deal with everyday anxiety.

A few months ago I had a full-blow anxiety attack at work (and it wasn’t even catalog season). Long story short, I arrived at work to find an urgent job request I had to deal with immediately – no time for coffee or email! Then, out of the blue, my heartbeat and breathing got out of whack. I tried deep, measured breathing (recalled from Lamaze classes 20 years ago), but it was no good. I couldn’t get myself back on track. If I hadn’t read about anxiety attacks, I would have thought I was having a heart attack. But I had read about this, and all of my symptoms were classic.

So what did I do? I worked through it. After all, I had a job request to fill. Besides, I didn’t want to cause a fuss, because I’m a “fixer,” not the one who needs fixing. And I couldn’t have people hovering over me to make sure I didn’t drop dead while I was trying to do my work; that would just be distracting.

Eventually (about an hour later) I finished the task, my heart rate and breathing settled down, and I determined that I was not going to keel over in my cubicle after all. I haven’t had another attack since, and I pray I don’t. But just in case, I am claiming this scripture:

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:5-7 (NIV)

By the way, the photo above is of my son Ben (on the right, and now age 20) and his friend Alex (on the left) years ago, at Alex’s birthday party. Alex is at James Madison University now, and Ben’s at Appalachian State. I think Alex was just chilled in this picture, but he sure appears anxiety-ridden, doesn’t he? Ben, on the other hand, seems totally relaxed, with his safety vest and goggles. For the record, I want to be like Ben looked that day – wrapped in the life-saving vest of Jesus and viewing life through His eyes.