Out of Focus

Somewhere between one Easter and the next, the cross tends to grow a little fuzzy to me. It’s not that my faith wanes, or Jesus’ sacrifice for me is diminished in any way. But we dash on to Pentecost, then through the Christian calendar to Advent and Christmas and before we know it, it’s Lent and we’re rounding the corner to Easter on two wheels again.

So tonight, as I knelt at the altar during our Good Friday service, I saw the cross move into focus like a slide projected on a screen in my mind. And I prayed the prayer author Anne Lamott freed me to pray every time I’m on my knees: “Thank You, thank You, thank You!” I want so badly to love Him more, to serve Him with abandon, and to let Him fill up the empty places in my heart that I’m so busy trying to fill with other things.

Besides a crystal clear image of the cross in my mind’s eye, I also left church tonight with a question that lingered from the shadow play our Youth presented. (And as an aside, they never cease to amaze me. What a tremendous loss for people who don’t see how genuine our kids are and how deep their faith runs.) The question on my heart tonight, taken from one of the Stations of the Cross, is this:

When have I carelessly nailed someone else to the cross?

Idle gossip that spreads like a wildfire...a reply that barely holds back anger...a judgmental heart that doesn’t see the big picture... It’s so easy to fall into the trap, and the worst part is that we don’t even usually realize we’ve done it. But there’s no justification. There’s only Christ on the cross, his heart grieved by our callous treatment of each other.

I want to drop my mallet and nails at the foot of His cross, and let His mercy wash over me like sweet spring rain. And I’m so very thankful that His cross makes that possible. As my friend Beth reminded me, “It’s Friday...but Sunday’s coming!”

For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from Him. ~ Psalm 62:1 (NRSV)